Flashcube

It takes a special kind of person to blog daily with some sort of redeeming quality to the posts. It can be argued some days that I am not one of them but at least that’s only some days whereas Rosie O’Donnell seems to have an off day everyday. Maybe it’s the poetry or perhaps the Erasure lyrics. One thing for certain is that her blog certainly gets a lot more visitors than I do.

My niece and I watched the movie Ping Pong that I picked up in Chinatown several weeks ago. We both enjoyed it and to her credit she didn’t bitch at having to read subtitles. Ping Pong is a fantastic movie out of Japan from 2002 about well… ping pong and features two completely opposite characters Peco and Smile (What fantastic names!) who compete in the championships. Yes, I know. I’m shitty at writing a synopsis.

I’ve heard about the movie for a while as I picked up the soundtrack a while back because it features Supercar and Sugarplant amongst others. Interestingly I found myself focusing on the clothing as I’ve never seen ping pong played professionally and had absolutely no idea that there’s an entire line of sportswear dedicated to it. Last night I was this || close to ordering a pair of shoes from the site and just may very well tonight despite the fact I’ve never so much as played the game. It is a good movie though.

A quiz at the Psychology Today website says that I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder to which I respond, “Like Abraca-DUH!”

I always take the results of personalty tests with a grain of salt because I assume that everyone is fucked up one way or another also. Sometimes the symptoms manifest themselves quickly in which you can drop the ballast without too much effort. Other times it may take a while and traps you in some sort of tangled web of intrigue.

Take the test and see how fucked up you are. Me? Totally fucked but totally awesome.

In addition to being, music-obsessed; appearance-obsessed; girl-obsessed; and sex-obsessed, I don’t I’ve ever made it well known how much I enjoy Linux. I suppose that this is because I really try to keep certain aspects of my personality under wraps and exagerate others but the truth is that I’m just a huge fucking nerd and I should just accept the fact.

I credit this guy for first turning me on to Linux perhaps three or four years ago during a spectacular failure at trying to install it on a partition of my old iMac. Thankfully the rate of improvement and refinement has been exponential and the Linux of today is appoaching and arguably surpassing that of Windows XP. Even a person like me who can’t code worth shit can install Linux with ease.

The problem with Linux is that the users well suffer from an image problem. It’s not to say that they’re not an outstanding and talented group of individuals. It’s just well… when most people think of Linux users this is the first that comes to mind. It’s hard to disparage them as I still have my Vancouver Linux Users Group membership card in my wallet and am contemplating joining the Calgary Linux Users Group.

I suppose in the end though you’re looking for that funny link, here’s some nerd humour for you.

This Russian game should keep you amused for some time. It did me for a few minutes while I was waiting for my new jeans to dry. It involves moving a block around and not having it fly off into space. I’m sure it’s an allegory for something or contains some sort of socio-political subtext but I’m simply not that learned and as a consequence would erupt into handclaps and high-fives with imaginary friends when I completed the level.

This website attempts to resolve various sexual acts through tracts in the bible. My first thought was, “What’s sex?”. You see, that area of my brain has atrophied due to serious neglect. That’s okay though because thanks to the site I’m up to speed on the knowledge but will have to work on the chance to execute it. I’m a sad, sad man.

To call this show a guilty pleasure would be admitting that I actually feel guilt out of watching it every week. Granted, it’s certainly the company I keep that makes it to me appeal even more. After missing last weeks episode I’ve vowed to never miss another because bad things happen when I do. This weeks episode was a showstopper and was quite obvious from the beginning who was going to be eliminated. To ruin it for everybody it was the “no-necked badwalker”. We all laughed uncontrolably when the Reese Witherspoon lookalike feinted. My favourite is Lluvy because of her unconventional looks. Her resemblance to Shelley Duvall doesn’t hurt either. Before you ask, my answer is “Yes, my life is this vacuous of meaning that television plays a prominant role in my weekly entertainment.” Would you have it any other way?

The fact that latch on a simple thing like me being me being left-handed and elevate it to ridiculous proportions is certainly daring to be the recipient of abject malice. I mean, who the fuck am I? Okay, other than lonely and steadfastly uncompromising.

Here’s a link for all fellow lefties. It’s an online shop featuring various left-handed products like golf clubs and scissors. I can attest that left-handed scissors are an absolute dream come true despite the fact I’ve never actually tried them.

The site also makes the bold claim that left-handers are better lovers but I’ve never kissed or fucked myself so I can’t exactly verify it.

I can’t believe I almost forgot that I was an ordained minister. I suppose with all the things going on in my life right now it completely slipped my mind until I recieved the email newsletter last week featuring sample ceremonies. Yes, it is for a non-demoninational internet church and the legality is questionable in some parts of Canada. I’m currently working on it though. A gentleman from California named Andre is currently drafting my “Letter of Good Standing” and the ULC (Universal Life Church) US representative Amy should be getting back to me shortly with the current legal status in Alberta after which if all the pieces are in place I should be able to marry you or absolve your sins and maybe channel some sort of higher power that would sort my own bullshit out.

Flashcube.org basketball tentatively begins during the middle of April on a Sunday. The location is still to be determined but will be downtown. According to Calgary historical weather data temperatures should be warm enough that one should be able to get away with wearing shorts and t-shirt or camisole or unitard. Headbands are recommended.

The reason I am announcing this so early is so that some preparations can be made in advance and also to to drum up interest and to get a scope of how many people will be involved. Everyone is welcome. You don’t even have to know me let alone like me. Don’t be intimidated. I can barely tie my own shoes let alone dribble a basketball. The purpose is purely for fun and exercise. If you’d like you can create your own Flashcube.org basketball t-shirt using the downloadable PDF file which can be printed onto a T-Shirt transfer. It’s a 2-page document featuring the same logo both forward and reversed depending upon which type of transfer you use.

I still need confirmation from people as to are interested so I can find a location that will best suit us. Currently just Joel and I are confirmed. I have a few “that sounds awesome.” but nothing solid. So please write something in the comments to the extent of “Yes I’m interested. I’ll bring the sliced oranges.” if you’re game. I’m also looking for a boombox.

Look for an announcement of the location and date of the first game in the next few weeks and also, when choosing teams please don’t pick me last.