Flashcube

The guideposts for teens website has provided a 100 item list of things that teens can do instead of “it” when dating. The list is even funnier if you treat each item as a veiled phrase for “it”. For example:

Boy: Sure, I was drunk and amorous but so was she. Next thing I know we were “Lip-synching to the Oldies”.
Boy’s friend: Really? You actually “Jumped on a trampoline”. You dirty dog!!

ewwwww!!!!!!

Jellybath. Enough said.

I’ve been accused of having a bit of a Laissez-Faire attitude lately. Now whether that has to do with the fact that I’ve reached some sort of epiphany or a chemical imbalance has yet to be determined though I’m opting for the latter. And despite all of this there are still a few things that I simply will not do now or forever be it under duress or my own free will.

• I will also never admit that the entire reason that I go to parties and socialize with large groups of people is to feed my inflated self-worth by feeling like I am doing them a favour by giving them the pleasure of meeting an individual as talented and as engaging as myself.
• I will never limit the colour palette of my clothing and accessories to reflect my complexion. I am a spring.
• I will never reveal that “Dude, where’s my car?” is one one of the best surrealist comedies ever put to film.
• I will never enjoy eating brussel sprouts as I cannot get the image out of my mind that I am eating little green brains
• I will never truly understand post-modernism as I feel that it doesn’t even truly understand itself and it seems be an anti-movement by telling us everything it doesn’t stand for rather than everything it does.
• I will never like dogs more than cats.
• I will never shy away from telling people that this website is borne of self-aggrandizement and that it serves to feed my ego whenever someone posts in the comments – even if they say I’m an asshole. I am.
• I will never not scheme.
• I will never truly like pears as I ultimately see them as sub-standard apples.
• I will never be happy with the fact that Eric’s 2001 wasn’t the same as Kubrick’s 2001. Still no Pan Am flights to the moon and back.
• I will never be happy with the battery life on my digital camera.
• I will never really ever learn to appreciate jazz or blues.
• I will never not in the midst of a creative project of one sort or another.
• I will never know when to quit.

I will never get as many piercings as the gentleman in the above photo

It’s difficult to be an activist when you’re as busy as I am. However, there are other ways to help bring peace to the world. I’m doing my part. What about you?

Here’s a lovely little flash movie for all to enjoy.

All the fun of doing the quizzes without the hassle of buying the magazine. It features great quizzes like,
“Are You Cool or Downright Cold?”, “Who’s your summer-movie leading man?”, and “Has Spring Fever Got You Boy Crazy?”. I did the “Who are your style icons?” and came out with this.

Your icons: Michael Michele, Katie Holmes, Reese Witherspoon, Julia Roberts.

I’ve been longing for the website that speaks to my heart and Modern Drunkard Magazine is the answer. Featuring such articles as Etiquette for Inebriates, 365 Reasons to Get Soused, and Above and Beyond Last Call. So with that, who wants to go out drinking this weekend?

The next time I’m on the job market I can be rest assured that my resume is not nearly as messed up as this one.

Help celebrate this holiday season by making pile upon pile of paper snowflakes from old discarded phonebooks and bank statements. Je suis fun!

Clowns fucking creep me out. Perhaps it’s born out of a distrust of anything that unnaturally happy. Plus they want to hug me and I hate that. Not hugs mind you, but hugs from fucking clowns. That’s just wrong. Oh yes, here is a link to The Clown Museum – a website devoted to clowns and the art of clowning.

This guy wants to hug your kids.