Flashcube

You know, I’ve often contemplated the projects I spend my free time doing; be it this website or something else. And for the most part I can justify what I do as well as understand other people’s intellectual or creative pursuits. So I am quite befuddled when I find out that teenagers are trying to create dragons.

Project Dracogenesis is the ongoing project to create a living, (fire) breathing, benevolent dragon to help humanity. While some may construe this as clearly fucking insane others may admire their courage and conviction. Here is a passage from their mission statement:

Project DracoGenesis is dedicated towards making the fictional and imaginative dragon into a beneficial ally. We will show the nearly forgotten dedication of mankind and a goal, and we will demonstrate our success as a reminder. Science will be our tool to build more tools of science, and we will advertise and offer these newfound tools to any who put it to practical use. Many say it’s impossible, but impossibility has been our goal even before history.

It’s difficult for me to dedicate myself to the most mediocre of tasks. How is then that these folks can spend years upon on an almost insurmountable and some may say impossible task with little or no education in genetics. Thankfully these questions are answered in the F.A.Q. section of the website.

Q: How do you plan on doing this?
A: Genetics is a fascinating field, is it not? The creation of living things has already been made possible even a few years back. With prospective engineers and scientists uncovering new technology, eight years from now making something as advanced as a dragon could be more than possible. One of these days, there will be an artificial egg. That egg will hatch, and DracoGenesis will have succeeded in it’s goal.

Whether or not this comes to fruition can only revealed in time. The tentative goal is 2010 as at that time the group involved in the project will have gone to and finished college and subsequently gained an education in genetic engineering. Here’s hoping.

I am the culmination of years of effort and study. Give me a hug.

Talk like a pirate and impress your friends with your buccaneer vernacular. Frankly, this website should walk the plank as it really doesn’t live up to its’ namesake as the actual pirate talking lingo is quite spare. However, they have organized an official pirate-talking day on September 19th so who the fuck am I to judge. After a bit of Googling, I found a far superior pirate dictionary hosted by a highly informative pirate website.

Prepare to be boarded, bitches!

The House Rabbit Society is an organization dedicated to informing and educating the public on having a rabbit as a housepet. The site includes tips on caring and feeding and socializing it with your other pets. Best of all is their bunny gallery. Everytime you reload a page it’s a new bunny!

I love my female friends. They are intelligent, fashionable, sassy, and forthright with their opinions. I respect them without prejudice and treat them as equal. However, if one of them met me one day with a vulva-shaped purse, I would probably have to reconsider our friendship. Thankfully, I am confident in the fact that they have one thing in common: taste.

ArtGoddess.com has vulva-shaped merchandise for sale on their website. They are made with care from people who spell “magical” with a K. They have vulva-purses, vulva-valentines, and most disturbing of all a vulva-hat.

“A heart full of love and the feminine divine or….

you can never have too many vulvas!”

I don’t know about you but if I gave any of the women I know a vulva-valentine, they would slap the shit out of me. And for good reason.

Everyone’s favourite city state has its’ own website featuring things like Vatican Radio, their weekly newspaper, and television. Not only that but also that but information on Pope’s present and past as well as various proclamations. Thanks Angela for the link.

Like any more reasons should be given to cut your mullet. Not only is it unfashionable, it’s fucking dangerous.

The earth is a big planet. Really big. Such that there are a lot of different accents around the world. The Speech Accent Archive has listed at least 264 that you can listen to online. A surprising omission was the Canadian Maritime accent. Nonetheless, listen to the many ways the following phrase can be spoken.

Please call Stella.  Ask her to bring these things with her from the store:  Six spoons of fresh snow peas, five thick slabs of blue cheese, and maybe a snack for her brother Bob.  We also need a small plastic snake and a big toy frog for the kids. She can scoop these things into three red bags, and we will go meet her Wednesday at the train station.

This really interesting gallery of digitally retouched images shows us exactly the difference between an original and what eventually appears in a magazine.

It’s official Left-Handers Day today. As part of this demonized minority, I demand that everyone kiss my ass for the next 24 hours. Buying me a drink would be nice though too.

When it comes to romancing ladies, this guy has it all figured out Here’s a passage from his website “Romancin’ Her“

“One of her favorites is her night gown.  I had my sister pick me up a woman’s nightgown, just a long plain pink one. Which much resembled a really long T-shirt.  You know what kind I mean don’t ya guys?  Anyway, I also bought a red, blue and black permanent markers. I wrote things all over it like her nick  name, I love you, sweet dreams, cuddles, hugs, etc. and the following poem right down the middle of the back.”
 

So that’s why I spend my evenings alone and despondent. I haven’t broken out the Sharpie and ruined a perfectly good nightgown with inane romantic scribbling. I didn’t think it could get any better. But wait, there’s more. He’s also a poet.

You’re kissable and cuddly

You’re lovable and sweet

You thrill me every minute,

And sweep me off my feet.

You’re charming and disarming,

Desirable and true.

You inspire and impress me,

And that’s why I love you!

It’s no wonder that I can’t get a date. I haven’t figured out rhyming quatrains yet. Well, we can’t have that can we? Here is my debut poem. I’m gonna be romancin’ tonight if you know what I mean!

You have the finest booty

You wear a thong too.

And those low ridin’ jeans. Damn!

I wanna get witchu.

Your hair is all teased like that

And your legs are slim and strong.

When you wear those heels, baby

I wanna freak you all night long